Sexy sms
1. Difference between bad and worse.
Bad: when your children find your last night used condom.
Worse: when they insist you to blow that balloon for them.
Bad: when your children find your last night used condom.
Worse: when they insist you to blow that balloon for them.
2. How to irritate an archeologist? Show him a used whisper and ask him which period it belongs to.
3. What's similarity between garden and breast? Both are made for kids but mostly used by adults.
4. In a lift, man elbow accidently touched lady's breast.
Man: if your heart is soft as your breast you will forgive me.
Lady: if you sex organ is hard as your elbow I am in room 207.
Man: if your heart is soft as your breast you will forgive me.
Lady: if you sex organ is hard as your elbow I am in room 207.
5. A lady was wearing jeans in a train.
A man who saw that her zip was open said: madam, your lips are laughing.
Woman: hey they want a cigarette.
A man who saw that her zip was open said: madam, your lips are laughing.
Woman: hey they want a cigarette.
6. Wife in sexy mood lovingly says: I want to have a wild experience. Tie me up and do whatever u want. Excited man tied up his wife and raped her sister.
7. A girl wears sleeveless dress every time. On right arm she writes 'C' and on left arm 'L'.
friends ask: what does it means? She said: I am cool.
friends ask: what does it means? She said: I am cool.
8. A naked lady gets into taxi. Driver looks at her. Lady: haven't you ever seen a naked woman?
Driver: no I am just wondering where you have kept the money to pay me.
Driver: no I am just wondering where you have kept the money to pay me.
9. A sexy and attracted female employee meets her boss and says sir will you remove something from my breast?
Boss: wow, what?
Girl: your eyes.
Boss: wow, what?
Girl: your eyes.
10. Wife in good mood rotating husbands sex organ in bed.
Husband: you want sex?
Wife: no., just joined car driving school and practicing gear changing.
Husband: you want sex?
Wife: no., just joined car driving school and practicing gear changing.
11. Three ladies saw a dog ucking violently.
Dr's wife: they are enjoying life.
Lawyer's wife: no, it's a rape.
Army officer: I think the dog has come on a holiday.
Dr's wife: they are enjoying life.
Lawyer's wife: no, it's a rape.
Army officer: I think the dog has come on a holiday.
12. Angry husband sent sms to father-in-law. Your product not matching my requirements.
smart father-in-law: warranty expired manufactured not response.
smart father-in-law: warranty expired manufactured not response.
13. T-shirt quotes: now more tastier and healthier, handle with care, tasted by experts, shake well before use, can make boneless thing hard, no one can use just once.
14. Man looked his naked body in the mirror says to wife-look 75 kg of pure dynamite. Wife says: but shame on the 5 cm fuse.
15. wife - u were so drunk last night that u insulted ur
husband - piss him
wife - u did that and he fired u
husband - fuck him
wife - i did that! and you can go to work from tomorrow
16. A good friend is like a good bra... hard to find, very comfortable, supportive, and always close to the heart.....
husband - piss him
wife - u did that and he fired u
husband - fuck him
wife - i did that! and you can go to work from tomorrow
16. A good friend is like a good bra... hard to find, very comfortable, supportive, and always close to the heart.....
17. Speech should be like mini-skirt: long enough to cover the "main subject" and short enough to keep the interest!!
18. Wife: if I sleep with your best friend, what thought will first come into your mind?
Husband: that you’re a Lesbian
Husband: that you’re a Lesbian
19. Boys say it's great
boys say it's fine
9 months later
they say: it's not MINE ;)
boys say it's fine
9 months later
they say: it's not MINE ;)
20. sometime girl can attract man with her mind
but most often she can attract him with what she doesnt mind
but most often she can attract him with what she doesnt mind
21. one good thing about sex
that it brings lovers so close that
they cant see anything wrong with each other
that it brings lovers so close that
they cant see anything wrong with each other
22. A good friend is like a good bra
Hard to find
Comfortable
Supportive
Prevents you from falling
Holds you tight
And is always close to your heart
Hard to find
Comfortable
Supportive
Prevents you from falling
Holds you tight
And is always close to your heart
23. If you’re wondering what is that a women has in front
And cow at the back?
The letter W
And cow at the back?
The letter W
24. wife asked his husband how many woman have u sleped with.
husband proudly replyed only with u...
with others i was always awake..
25. Girl : Arey itna bara munh mein kaise daloon gi.
Boy : Jaldi se munh kholo.
Girl : Oops sare kapray geelay ho gaye.
Boy : Aur lo gee.
Girl: NA baba na yeh Gool Gapey tum he kahoo.
Boy : Jaldi se munh kholo.
Girl : Oops sare kapray geelay ho gaye.
Boy : Aur lo gee.
Girl: NA baba na yeh Gool Gapey tum he kahoo.
26. A boy comes to class with broken specs.
Teacher: what happened?
Boy: I was kissing my girlfriend.
Teacher: but how did your specs break?
Boy: she closed her legs.
Teacher: what happened?
Boy: I was kissing my girlfriend.
Teacher: but how did your specs break?
Boy: she closed her legs.
27. An army got married first night realizes wife having periods.
He telegram to HQ: red alert on front extend leave.
DQ: attack from back and report.
He telegram to HQ: red alert on front extend leave.
DQ: attack from back and report.
28. Virginity is like a balloon, one prick and it's gone. Sex is like a pack of chips, one you start you can't stop. Life is like a dick once it gets hard, it ucks.
29. Sex teacher draws picture of male sex organ and asked does anyone know what this is?
Kid: ya, my dad have two.
Teacher: two?
Kid: a small one for susu and big one to brush moms teeth.
Kid: ya, my dad have two.
Teacher: two?
Kid: a small one for susu and big one to brush moms teeth.
No comments:
Post a Comment